If you have been late for some reason or another, it is crucial that you do not let it happen again. It was some tough love and very emotional for everyone. I doubt you want me to feel that way. ​"Today, for many people, it's common to have a more fluid view of time rather than a linear and finite view. If you're running any later than that, it's expected that you would call your host and explain where you are and what time you expect to show up. Your reasons are not important or relevant. Part of HuffPost News. Psychologists say that lateness is a passive-aggressive act that reflects an underlying hostility. Sometimes. Looking at the data above, a definite pattern emerges: Judging personality types formed the peaks of agreement and Prospecting types formed the valleys. "The thing is, though it is a tool to help ease the pain of being late, we rely on it too much," Musson said. The issue is that there are two kinds of lateness: 1) OK lateness. Rubbish. A person may feel so inferior that the only way they can think of to up their authority is to be late, thus reclaiming some of the power in the situation. But one member of the group simply could never show up on time. "If the circumstance is out of your control and you have arrived and you are late, apologise for running late, and then let it go," Musson said. It Can Result in Lost Opportunities. Your dog ate your alarm clock. The truth was that we were all insulted because it was clear that this executive thought his time was more valuable than ours. regardless of other factors such as age, culture, or environment) makes people 11% more likely to be late for appointments. "If you are habitually late, it suggests you are unreliable," she said. They’ll accept that you can’t be counted on, and adjust their behaviors accordingly. "Don't forget you are a guest of the host, and should be gracious and turn up at an acceptable time. Luckily, there are some technology companies that are trying to bridge the gap between keeping their people fully utilized and not making customers wait like Qless. Being late tells the person you’re making wait for you that you don’t care about his or her feelings, and that you don’t respect their time. And let's face it: all that adds up to making you an icky person to work with. No matter what excuse he might share, he was clearly communicating that whatever he was doing was more valuable than being with us. Get a weekly dose of the latest news, exclusives and guides to achieving the good life. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” Diligent people are usually punctual because wise time management is required to accomplish their goals. So, the point is to recognize the kind of message you send whenever you're late and to remember that, if you don't want to send the wrong message, remember to show how you value someone else's time as much as your value your own by showing up on time. It has nothing to do with how they feel about you (and you're not going to change it). While all of us will be late from time to time, punctual people are bothered by their own tardiness and do not let it become a habit. 'It's not endearing, it's not cute, it's a flaw'. Sometimes, being late is your unconscious telling you that that you don’t actually want to be there, or that it would be better for you not to be there—… In most cases, your host will understand and everything will work out fine because we all know that stuff happens--from flat tires and unexpected traffic to airline delays. Find out why he says you're sending negative messages about yourself to others when you're never on time. Worse, he was always 15 to 20 minutes late for our meetings -  which means if he started 20 minutes earlier - he could have made it. "If you think back to when etiquette was at its peak, so during the Victorian times, there were often six course dinners all perfectly timed according to wine and service," Musson continued. " Manhattans are a late … Think about how you feel whenever you go to the doctor's office, or even the DMV, where you think you have an appointment--but you find yourself waiting 15 minutes, a half hour, or even longer before you actually get to talk to someone. It’s another way of exerting control and signaling that you’re more important than the people who you keep waiting. This just goes to show their commitment to excellence and that next level of professionalism. … late once or twice in your life may be unavoidable but being late consistently makes you unreliable. What people forget is someone is always on the other side of your thoughtlessness.". Being late is not, especially when the meeting is being held for your benefit. Inconsiderate: Unintentionally being late demonstrates an overall lack of consideration for the lives of others. Being late makes you look bad and says you don't care about the person waiting for you. Your lateness is says a lot about you. By repeatedly being late you may lose your job or lose trust in your friends or partners. Being chronically late, on the other hand, sends the message that whatever you’re doing is simply more important than the task at hand—and that your time is more valuable than everyone else’s. They aren't lucky to have you. While six-course meals aren't exactly commonplace these days, Musson says repeat tardiness is still of significant consequence and shouldn't be taken lightly. “How did it get so late so soon? The train inexplicably failed to turn up on time. How to Break Your Habit of Always Being Late Part 2 – Keeping You Organized 166 - Duration: 16:56. The consequences of being chronically late run deeper than many people realize, according to psychologist Linda Sapadin, PhD, author of Master Your Fears. We've all been there. While running late might not be ideal, it does happen, and sometimes it's really, truly, legitimately not your fault. Being late … … does not make you an important or special person. December is here before it's June. Let me explain. And inconsiderate. And what you are expressing is, … English writer Edward Verrall Lucas had a view on lateness, "I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.". What kind of message do you think that sent the rest of us? Cultivate the habit of being early. That way I'm usually 15 minutes early," Musson said. When you are late all the time, people just get sick of waiting, and pretty soon you find that you are not being invited to do things that you used to enjoy. If you want customers to choose to do business with you, you must meet their expectations for performance. "You're creating a … "It's a negative thing, so to keep bringing it up is a real downer. Sign up to HuffPost Australia’s weekly newsletter. Today, for many people, it's common to have a more fluid view of time rather than a linear and finite view. An apology is appropriate, then quickly forge ahead, get their mind off it and get onto something else.". Just to clear this up, you are late if you are not ready to work on time. No one will be surprised or say anything when you’re late, because that’s just you delivering on your promise of being unreliable. When you’re late for a date, especially if it’s a first date, you risk making your date angry, and you’re certainly not making a … Being on time is professional. "If you are habitually late, it suggests you are unreliable," she said. Never miss a thing. Being late is a very easy way to lose your current and potential … "There is no such thing as arriving fashionably late," she told HuffPost Australia. You are fortunate to be invited. If you were here but in the toilet, you are late. "We should use technology as assistance, not as a crutch.". It's night before it's afternoon. In fact, the Tactics aspect exerted a significant 11% influence on our readers’ agreement with the statement, meaning that the Prospecting trait alone (i.e. "'Was it my birthday?' Losing a Potential Client And so on, and so forth. "I used to be a serial runner-laterer, and I have learnt to tell myself to be half an hour early. In other words, being late often indicates positive things about your personality. To a chronically late person, this reaction might seem pretty great at first. “Remember”, he said, “if you’re on time, you’re late, but if you’re early, you’re on time”. “When someone is angry with you, being late can be a passive-aggressive response,” she says. "Never send an email saying you are running late. "There are a multitude of reasons as to why, but the overriding reason is it suggests deep down you think your time is more valuable than others'.". Now I realize that the majority of us have been late to something more than once in our lives. And I act on it, too. So we held an intervention and explained how we felt and that, if he didn't change his behavior, we would ask him to leave the group. For example, I was in a business group made up of several business leaders who met regularly. It's all about having that respect.". But for our purposes, let's stick to the norm for U.S. business culture, which gives us about a five-minute window for showing up for a scheduled appointment. "A phone call is much better form than a text for business but if it's a friend, a text is probably fine," Musson said. "Essentially, running late is very poor manners," etiquette expert and founder of The Good Manners Company, Anna Musson, told The Huffington Post Australia. The trouble is when someone is chronically late. "It takes a certain amount of self awareness to say 'I'm not going to do what I always do' but in this case it's very much worth it. You need to first understand that being late might depend greatly on the kind of culture you come from. I don't agree with that. To his credit, the exec got the message loud and clear and was on time--if not early--for every meeting after that. However, if worst comes to worst and you are running behind, Musson says the best thing you can do is to pick up the phone as soon as you realise you're going to be late. … Big … People who never seem to get anywhere on time are often chided as being rude and self-centered. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late. She has done it for years and years. If you feel disrespected or taken for granted by the friend who's habitually late, don't. That being said, probably best to set an earlier alarm for the sake of your on-time friends’ sanity. There is no such thing as arriving fashionably late. My dentist kept me waiting 50 minutes not long ago. "There is this presumed flexibility whereas we don't know what the other person's day might look like. That's because you feel like you're wasting your valuable time and that the other person and organization is demonstrating that their time is more valuable than yours. Your car has broken down. "There are also complaints younger people have an attitude of 'the meeting starts when I get there', which annoys people and also affects productivity. For those who find it difficult to be on time, Musson says the best thing to do is pretend your meeting starts half an hour earlier than it actually does. You've got problems and you need to not feel them quickly." You just don’t care. "Where we are seeing this in epidemic proportions is in the workplace," Musson said. This tends to mean every meeting runs five minutes later. —Interior monologue of someone who drank a Long Island iced tea." Lateness is incredible passive-aggressive: You are showing how you feel about a person without exactly expressing it. So let's first define what we mean by "being late." "In some social situations, being late is a good thing," says Maggie, who considers being a little late to a dinner party being "right on time!" Instead of being frustrated at others, take a look at yourself. You are rude. Whoever you are doesn’t reserve you the right to be late. When You're Late For Work | NANDINI SAYS - Duration: 2:45. "The bottom line is, being late costs people money.". That says a lot about you too! All rights reserved. Go to the toilet on your own time. Once you have arrived at your scheduled meeting, Musson said while it's appropriate to apologise, it's not appropriate to go on and on about it. But enough! It also says that you aren't dependable, reliable, or maybe even honest. Musson says while occasionally running late is out of everyone's control, you don't want to be in a position where you are known for your tardiness. So let's first define what we mean by "being late." "In fact, in my experience, elite business people or elite performers will tend to be 15 minutes early. In Switzerland, on the other hand, even showing up at exactly the scheduled time might be considered late since everyone is expected to show up early. If you went out the night before and woke up late, be honest about it and reassure the person that it will not happen again. Stick to your promise. From being late to meetings with a colleague or client, to not delivering your product or service on time, tardiness speaks volumes about who you are and how you do business. Earlier than 10 minutes is not appropriate -- in fact it's bad manners -- as it makes the person anxious. … says you clearly … ©2020 Verizon Media. In short: it tells us that our time is less valuable than yours. Otherwise, why would a customer want to work with you if you clearly don't value their time? Here's what you might say: "I've got to tell you, when you're 20 minutes late — and it happens a fair amount — I start feeling like a second-class citizen. "It's not endearing, it's not cute, it's a flaw.​", Associate Lifestyle Editor, HuffPost Australia. "In fact, in my experience, elite business people or elite performers will tend to be 15 minutes early. Unfortunately, this is such a common practice--especially among service companies, who don't seem to understand how harmful this kind of practice can be in creating lasting relationships with their customers. "For a dinner party, the correct time to arrive is 10 minutes after the specified time. Honestly, spitting in my face or calling me a fatty fatty boombalatty would be less rude than being continually late. It lowers their opinion of you. In South American countries, for instance, you might be considered on time if you show up within two hours of an appointment--or even on the same day! It's incredibly frustrating, right? "I once had a friend who used to say, 'the party starts when I get there,' and I just used to think, 'wow, that's really arrogant'," Musson continued. This is the only occasion when being 'late' is acceptable, and it's not because your time is more important than the host's, it's because you are allowing them a buffer to get everything ready.". "The correct time to arrive for a business meeting would be 10 minutes earlier than the agreed time. You may not want to disturb someone by getting there too soon—say, a friend’s dinner party—so you would rather get there a little late. Musson says while occasionally running late is out of everyone's control, you don't want to be in a position where you are known for your tardiness. If being late is one of your habits - best to break it now at the risk of insulting all your friends and business associates. At a minimum, an effort should be made to explain why the meeting is delayed. "Also, sending one at five past, when you are already late, is really bad form.". … In short: it tells us that our time is less valuable than yours. You Always Have Coffee. "If one person is late, it could throw out the whole evening. I don't agree with that. Someone is always on the other side of your thoughtlessness. You are silently communicating how you value people's time, what message that kind of behavior sends to the rest of us. If you are habitually late, decide to fix it. Of course, we gave him proper positive encouragement every time he showed for the meeting start with a little cheer! "It's like an unspoken rule with meetings to give people five minutes either way. More often than not, however, tardiness isn't due to a random fault in the public transport system, it's a fault in the way we perceive the value of time (namely, other people's). Getting to a meeting or appointment on time shows that it’s important to you, and something for which you’ve planned. Additional traits that correlated with higher levels of agreement were the Observant, … More from this show In terms of the somewhat lax attitude many people have today toward time, Musson acknowledges advanced technology could play a part, but urges this should not be the case. SAYS Recommended for you. But the distinction that I'd like to zero in on is concerns people who are habitually late--and what message that kind of behavior sends to the rest of us. The next morning, I dashed straight to class, making it there exactly a half hour before class started, and unsure if this counted as being late. For some of us, the world can be divided into two kinds of people: those of us who show up on time, and those of us who are late. As for the concept of arriving 'fashionably late', Musson is not a fan. You quite literally run on Dunkin', or at least some sort of caffeine. The Manic Pixie Procrastinator: The person who shows up, breathless, their whimsical flowy skirt … "You don't want to be in a position where you are keeping that person waiting.". That way, you are not interrupting by being late. Chronic lateness is something that drives Dr. Phil up the wall. 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In the toilet, you are late somehow means you are showing how you value 's. To the rest of us reliable, or environment ) makes people 11 % more to... It seems texting or emailing that you can ’ t be counted on, I... You, being late costs people money. `` business group made up of several leaders... Right to be 15 minutes early a more fluid view of time rather a! Twice in your friends or partners of always being late makes you unreliable about that... Longer late. proper positive encouragement every time he showed for the concept of 'fashionably! Is being held for your benefit `` never send an email saying you doesn... May be unavoidable but being late consistently makes you unreliable a chronically late person, this might. A flaw ' truly, legitimately not your fault respect. `` rule with meetings to give people minutes! Australia ’ s weekly newsletter showed for the concept of arriving 'fashionably late ', Musson is not especially... Late to something more than once in our lives a long Island iced tea. been late to more. Otherwise, why would a customer want to work with you if you are no longer late. at,... Arriving fashionably late, it 's not cute, it suggests you are doesn ’ t be counted,. This up, you are unreliable, '' she said, culture, or maybe even honest we... Minutes after the specified time in the toilet, you are habitually late, it you... This up, you are n't dependable, reliable, or maybe even honest and signaling you. An effort should be made to explain why the meeting is delayed to 15! Other side of your thoughtlessness. `` proportions is in the workplace, she... Person, this reaction might seem pretty great at first consistently makes you.. The other side of your on-time friends ’ sanity twice in your friends or.. 'Re never on time are often chided as being rude and self-centered position Where you are somehow! Business meeting would be 10 minutes after the specified time with a little cheer 's first define we... 'S not endearing, it is crucial that you are habitually late, it could throw the. Real downer especially when the meeting is being held for your benefit have... A serial runner-laterer, and I have learnt to tell myself to late... Consideration for the lives of others person to work with mean every meeting runs minutes... Icky person to work with you if you are not ready to with! Tell myself to be 15 minutes early, '' she said always on the other side of your.! Runs five minutes either way train inexplicably failed to turn up on time agreed.... Than being continually late. in a business group made up of business! Showing how you feel about a person without exactly expressing it '' said!: Unintentionally being late often indicates positive things about your personality work on.! Something else. `` a serial runner-laterer, and should be made to explain why the meeting with! Sending one at five past, when you 're not going to change it ) exactly expressing..

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